Guide to Finding Yourself Again

Whether or not you just went through a major life change, breakup, or big move, it's easy to lose yourself or the definition of you that you've always been. First, there is absolutely nothing with changing, growing, morphing; I am talking about those of us who lost our shine, whit, and love for life because of something unfortunate happening. Second, give yourself grace for going through a difficult time and still pushing through; you've got this, don't give up! Always remember that a bad day only lasts 24 hours. And lastly, this new version of you may look different as you grow because you have learned, seen more and experienced more; it doesn't mean you aren't you anymore, it just means you are a stronger, different version of yourself. Reminder that a beautiful, strong butterfly has to emerge from an ugly cocoon in order to fly and blossom.

If it's a breakup, you have to let go in order to let go. If someone didn't give you the closure you needed or wanted, them walking away or not choosing you is the closure. Pick your chin up and move on. If it's a move, congratulations! Moving to a new place, area or city is terrifying and stressful; try to give yourself grace. If it's a major life change, soak it in and try to enjoy every step of the way but also try to make sure to lay out a solid foundation for growth.

It's easy to get lost in the craziness of life or get caught up in the day to day routines that turn into weeks that turn into months. Here are some tips to finding yourself again:

1. Stop letting temporary people have such a big impact on your emotions If someone says you are too much for them or not enough for them, don't believe them; prove them wrong. You are you and they can't handle you and therefore are not aligned with your long term success. Cut them out and off. You can't grow with dead limbs attached.

2. Identify targets and make them happen Goals are different than targets. Targets are short term goals or trajectories that get you to the ultimate bigger goals. I like to set attainable targets because it makes the ultimate much bigger goal seem not so far away. Silly and small, but makes a huge difference, I promise.

3. Start making your goals for you, not anyone else Are you living for yourself or living for others? If the answer isn't yourself then you are going to regret that later on in life. You are the only one who answers to yourself and will have to live with the decisions you've made.

4. Remind yourself of all the things you love about yourself You are amazing and unique and you. No one can be the exact replica of you and therefore you bring value and happiness in different ways to so many different people.

5. Stop body-shaming yourself The way you see yourself is how other's will see you too. No one is going to be confident for you, you have to be everything you need, yourself. Stop saying you will wear those jeans or eat that food group when your body looks a certain way. It's of course normal and fine to have body goals, but enjoy the journey that it takes to get there.

6. Stop going for people who aren't good for your mental health This one is simple, you have always think of the future life you are creating and ask yourself if that person aligns with that version of you you'd like to be. If the answer is no then let them go.

7. Remind yourself of everything you are grateful for every day There are ups and downs in life, but intentionally being grateful for at least one thing a day will help you change your mood and improve your overall outlook on life. How you react during difficult times determines who you are as a person.

8. Stop telling everyone your big plan The fish whose mouth is always open, always gets caught; while the fish who is intentional about when it opens it's mouth, lives longer.

9. Learn humility is always more graceful than bragging Don't overcompensate for your lack of or under-compensate for your success. Be humble but confident. Be bold but have humility.