Setting Boundaries: Protecting Your Heart While Letting Go

At some point, we become tired of the games, tired of the temporary highs and routine lows. We grow exhausted from the continuous conversations that break our hearts and the calls and nights of crying ourselves to sleep. At some point, we hit the “I’m too good for this” wall and never look back.

The power of detachment when letting go is one of the most important things we can do. Detaching from people, places, and situations that no longer serve us will be beneficial not only in the short term but can provide lasting long-term clarity. If you are the only one consistently fighting for your relationship, then it’s not a relationship. If someone can live without you, then let them. Let them watch you live happily without them, or quite literally do the opposite and don’t let them have any contact in your life whatsoever.

We learn growing up that if you love someone, then let them go and if they come back, then they are yours. But I think if you let them go, it was because they were bad for your mental health. And if they come back, they better understand and adapt to your boundaries. Love means accepting someone for who they are, right? So if they loved you back, they would have never put themselves in the position to be not yours in the beginning.

I’m tired of allowing myself to fall for temporary emotions and temporary highs, and then overexaggerating my place in someone else’s life. I need to show up for myself, my boundaries, and my happiness before anyone else. I’m tired of falling for potentials rather than what someone is actually showing me. I’m tired of falling for confusion when I should be falling for safety. I need to show up for myself the way I want someone else to for me.

Steps to Set Healthy Boundaries and Protect Your Heart

1.Identify Your Needs and Desires: Take the time to reflect on what you truly want and need from a relationship. Understand your values, priorities, and deal-breakers. This self-awareness is the first step in setting clear boundaries.

2. Communicate Clearly: Once you know your needs, communicate them clearly and assertively to the other person. Use “I” statements to express how you feel and what you need without placing blame or criticism.

3. Stick to Your Boundaries: It’s not enough to set boundaries; you must also enforce them consistently. This means standing firm when someone tries to cross your boundaries and being prepared to walk away if they cannot respect them.

4. Prioritize Self-Care: Protecting your heart means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and ensure you have a strong support system of friends and family.

5. Limit Contact: If someone is detrimental to your mental health, it’s okay to limit or even cut off contact. This doesn’t mean you hate them; it means you love yourself enough to create a healthy space for healing and growth.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this process. Letting go is hard, and it’s normal to feel a range of emotions. Allow yourself to grieve and process these feelings without judgment.

7. Focus on the Present: Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, focus on the present moment. Practice mindfulness to help you stay grounded and centered.

By setting and enforcing boundaries, you protect your heart and create a healthier, more fulfilling life. It’s a process that requires strength, self-awareness, and a commitment to your well-being, but the rewards are worth it. You deserve to be in a relationship where your needs are met, your boundaries are respected, and your heart is not taken for granted.