Reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparison is the thief of joy. If you consistently are convinced that you want to be more like someone else or always are comparing your ability to do something to someone else's then you will never be happy. Growing up in a larger family, I learned early on that I couldn't compare myself to my siblings because it would always end in disappointment. There will always be someone prettier, more athletic, smarter, leaner, etc. than you, but that doesnt make you any less of a person because of something someone else has. I am grateful for the ability to detach from any competitive mindset that would restrict my abilities to let things go over time if I did not win against another person. I also feel as though this assists with jealousy. I am not a jealous person and truly see it possible for unique individuals having completely different backgrounds and experiences being able to achieve their own goals on their own timelines without the societal pressure opposed on them to comply with society's timeline. I see it as, two individuals can both be successful in their own ways even if they are going for the same goal, for one person’s definition of their achievement could be seen completely the opposite or differing from another’s.

Here are some reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others:

1. You have no idea what the other person is going through and if they are truly happy.

2. You have different backgrounds and reasons why you are where you are. Life is not a competition, we are all on our own timelines

3. Comparison is the thief of joy; you will never be content. Once you get stuck in looking one way, it will be difficult to convince yourself to stop and be content in who you are.

4. How boring would life be if we were all the same. You are you for a reason, stop trying to be and replicate someone else!

5. Jealousy isn't a good trait to have. Jealousy is fine of course in small amounts, but if you find yourself constantly looking at what other people have, then the problem is you, not them.

Note:

Chin up, makeup on, hair curled, and smile. That’s what I was told going into school when at the age of ten, I was already labeled “not the smartest” of my siblings. It was a joke around my family that I was lucky I was “cute” because I would never be taken seriously for my brain without backing up my claims and statements. At the age of eleven, I was labeled “unique but too slow”, that I wasn’t athletic enough for sports and not smart enough for an Ivy. My five year old brother moving up two grades because he was far more advanced than others already at such a young age and I was seen as “just Mariah who gets distracted by shiny rocks(ADHD)”. My seven year old brother, understanding and adapting to the same dual language academy I went through and failed, while he so much younger did so much better and faster than I. It was at the age of eleven that I learned if I want to have any credibility in my family that I would have to back up every claim, statement, opinion with evidence.

When I was twelve, I wanted to become the drum major for my middle school, finally be seen as someone who is a leader, who could do something that others couldn’t; I succeeded at my own art finally and for once wasn’t compared to my siblings. In a way though, it didn’t matter because I was still at the same school, town, community that knew all the wonderful things my siblings did. Constantly being compared on a scale that isn’t and never should’ve been seen as a ratio but as five independent people all able to succeed in their own ways and not pitted against each other to compete for attention.

In high school, when my older brother got accepted into MIT, Stanford, UCLA, Berkeley, etc. I was labeled as “the ungifted sibling” and my sister getting athletic scholarships after another, I was labeled as “not fit enough for anything serious”. I hated that every teacher knew before I even walked into the door, who my siblings were and knew how they were going to treat me.

I’m not writing this as a pity so if you’re thinking that as you read, that’s not at all what this is. I am grateful of my upbringing, to be in a family of so many gifted individuals who I love dearly and am proud of every single day. I pride myself now in saying that I am not a competitive person because the only person I like to compete with is myself. I am simply saying that being compared to and comparing yourself to others your whole life will do nothing but bring you sadness, I promise.