How to Become a More Positive Person

Being a positive person doesn't mean overlooking the difficult things in life, being naive, or having a toxically positive outlook. Being a positive person means actively and consistently choosing to foster a positive environment and mind for yourself despite the difficulties life throws at you. 

Believe it or not, I wasn't always a positive person that was always smiling and happy. I have people ask me quite often how I deal with the difficulties and stress of the world and honestly, it's something I've intentionally learned; not a personality I was naturally given. I used to go through my days tearing apart and judging everyone around me, taking my anger and frustration out on others and putting my pain and fears onto my partners. I was very mean to my family and was not a nice person to be around. It was my freshman year of college that I learned from a romantic partner that I was so hurt from everyone else, that I put my pain onto others. I wouldn't let anyone close enough to get to know me because I was afraid of letting anyone in. This made me a cold, unrecognizable person over years and so I really had to sit with the fact that I didn't like the path I was going down. Was I successful for my age? Yes, but I hated how negative and closed off I was to friends, family and a partner. I took small steps at first and then it became natural over the years. Sometimes of course I find myself getting back into my old ways and have to take a step back and remind myself of the person I want to be and if the way I am currently acting aligns with that. 

Steps below dive into ways I found are helpful to having a more positive outlook in life:

1. Lose Control

At the end of the day, you can't control 100% of what happens every single day. However, you can control how you react to situations and that in itself will help you realize that most of life is reacting to things that happen to you. Having a positive mindset is intentionally choosing to stay calm or not having a harsh reaction when negative things happen. Control what you can and let go of the rest. Accept that you can't control everything in your life all of the time and if you try to, you will end up losing yourself in the process. Of course, feel your feelings, but don't let them consume you entirely.

2. Practice Gratuity 

I choose to be grateful for at least one thing every day because practicing gratuity in itself is a great thing but also allows me to slow down during busy times. To be grateful for the smallest things in life like if your coffee was extra tasty this morning or you had a great presentation at work will make all the difference over time. Life is not only about waiting for the big moments to be grateful for, life is also about noticing the "boring" things in day to day life that make you smile a little harder every day. Look at the way your neighbor smiles at you every time they say good morning or how the leaves are extra crunchy under your feet. Appreciate the way the barista drew a heart on your cup or how someone said they care about your mental health today. 

3. Rejection is Just Redirection

Rejection is difficult of course, but a positive way of seeing a negative thing is by saying that everything happens for a reason and that something better is going to take it's place. Believing that you were alright and okay before you met someone or before you had a certain job and you will 100% be okay after leaving or breaking up; trust me it's a freeing feeling. With relationships, release what has released you. With jobs, maybe this is a way of the universe forcing you to tap into your true passions and potential. You would've have a new opportunity present itself if you weren't ready for it.

4. Stop Judging Others

This one is simple, people who are content in who they are would not feel the need to judge others who are trying to get their footing or trying something new. Stop judging others for things or reasons they do things differently than you. Happy, content and secure people don't feel the need to tear others down. At the end of the day, hurt people, hurt people.

5. Stop Explaining Yourself

Being positive means also being positively sure in who you are and not allowing negative comments to impact your life or your decisions. Stop explaining why you dropped out of school or why you moved away from home to other people. Make your decision, stick to it and anyone who minds doesn't matter and those who matter won't mind.