Clear Signs They Are Not "The One"

Love love love; a four letter word that is used as a form of expressing emotion and can be used as a weapon. There are red flags you can identify with behaviors that become patterns, but sometime's we are blind to the every day or "normal" patterns people present and may not realize that they are indeed not normal. Would your older or younger self be proud of you if you kept holding on to them? Love should feel healthy, easy and kind, not difficult, confusing and one sided. Let me help you, help yourself identify things that could make the person you think is "the one", actually not the one. I know that it's difficult to see yourself without this one toxic person in your life, but you have to consciously decide if you are willing to allow your energy and effort to keep going to towards someone who is not good for you. You are the only one who can decide to let someone go after they have hurt you enough or let them go because you realized you don't want them to hurt you.

I can tell you honestly that they are not "the one" if:

1. They have to lose you to recognize they want you Absence makes the heart grow fonder right? A healthy amount of missing someone is normal when you are without them, but if they only reach out after multiple instances of you providing space and distance then how long are these interactions going to last until you notice your worth is more than they are giving you?

2. Their love is conditional If their love is only given with "if's" and "only if's" then you need to recognize we are not coding, this is a relationship(nerd joke). On a more serious note, love should be unconditional and not given with limitations. If they are always expecting something back, then maybe that's a discussion or del breaker for you.

3. You are their second choice or they are your second choice Imagine getting to your wedding day and preparing for your vows and either of you start thinking about someone else... exactly.

4. They ask you to change your core beliefs and values It is one thing to ask someone to change their habits, but to change who they are completely; you are asking to find a whole different person at that point. If they don't understand your boundaries and your passions then they are not ever going to.

5. You have to put in more effort than them We respond to actions, not words. It is easy to say things, promise things and compliment you, but actions are what actually make us realize someone is intentionally doing things to make us feel wanted. Don't let them fool you into thinking you are wanted when in fact their actions show you they could care less.

6. You have to give them ultimatums to recognize your worth If you have to tell someone it's me or __ then that's not love and they certainly don't see your presence in their life as important enough because if they did then they would've chosen you in the first place. Pick your head up, don't send that long text, it's not worth it.

7. You have to convince them that you are enough If you have to keep persuading someone to stay in your life and that you are worth their time and attention, then it's not going to work long term. You should be able to present your whole authentic self and have that always be enough without begging to be enough for someone to want you. Don't let someone temporary make you question your worth.g